The Truth About Cats & Dogs

Esoteric Personal Note

Yes, I don't make too many of these (this being public and all). I'm just wondering if it's normal not to have any romantic interest in a real (i.e. not unattainable, not gay, not an actor, celebrity, etc) person in such a long time. And possibly not to really care. Perhaps I sound like a whiny high schooler ("Waaah, am I normal? *Angst* *Angst* *Angst* Will a guy ever really LyKe Me 4 mE?), but I know there's no real normality except for the one I create. But I'm wondering if this uninterest in anyone romantically signifies that I am personally completely detached from human society. I realize how much of a problem my ideology possibly freaks out people (i.e. men who are afraid of smart women because it makes their male ego - and possibly other male parts - shrink). I remember a friend who said it is hard for her to date because she doesn't like to "play dumb". I think I know the strategy of the game, but I don't know if I can play by those rules.

In one sense I find it difficult to let go of my strongly held personal beliefs without losing a part of my personal integrity. I will be honest and say there's fear there too. These beliefs are also affecting my non-romantic relationships with friends. I can't even watch a movie without thinking about the "isms" involved (racism, sexism, blah blah). And I find that some people who might agree with me are too pretentious or friends think I am being too serious for my own good.

In another sense, I know I am not the norm. And I'm sure it's not helpful that I have a sarcastic and slightly cynical edge sometimes. I think I'm improving that though. At least I hope so.

I was watching "The Truth About Cats & Dogs" the other day. And while it is a good movie it still bothered me in some ways. Why does the intelligent, funny, charismatic girl with a good job have low self esteem? (I love Janeane Garofalo- she is amazing) Is it society that makes her that way? Do you have to fit into one of 2 categories- smart and so-so or beautiful and dumb? Why does the beautiful blonde attract so much male attention (I think Uma Thurman is lovely but is it just because she is tall and blonde that makes her stop traffic? Are men really blindsided by attraction like that?) ? Is it intelligence that makes women unattractive to men? Is being dumb, flighty, with a high pitched voice and giggles nourish the "protective" aspect of men? And in the end is male approval what women want?

I don't know where I stand. I know I could never be part of the latter, but I don't agree with how society treats the former. And in a world where women are getting more education and out numbering men in percentage of the population I feel like its increasingly difficult to find anyone even remotely acceptable (and, in turn, accepting). Guys who are nice are either a) in a relationship, b) gay, c) don't have enough social skills, d) not interested in me, or e) not interested in dating.