[rant warning]
Tomorrow is singularly one of the biggest events of the summer (probably year) in San Francisco. And unless you live in a cave- you know that event is the SF Pride festival.
Well I know this shouldn't be suprised how I feel right now...but whatever. I didn't realize until I had to seriously think about people's "comfort" level on whether or not they would be cool to go to the SF Pride festival. And this got me to thinking (and so did this by a friend of mine)....
I'm going to throw out a terms[1]:
homophobia
means fear of, aversion to, or discrimination against homosexuality or homosexuals. It can also mean hatred of and disparagement of homosexual people, their lifestyles, their sexual behaviors, or cultures, and is generally used to assert bigotry. Opposition to same-sex activism on religious, moral, or political grounds may also be referred to as homophobia.
and this one
Heterosexism
is a belief or argument that male-female sexuality is the only natural, normal, or moral mode of sexual behavior, and is also used to refer to the effects of that cultural ideology. The word 'heterosexualism' has also been proposed to mean essentially the same thing. This word has been suggested as an alternative to homophobia, in part because it uses a parallel structure to sexism or racism.
Heterosexism should not be confused with heterocentrism, which is an (often subconscious) assumption that everyone is heterosexual, and the attitudes associated with that assumption. Heterocentrism often shows up in unintentional ways in every day life. For instance, when a woman says she is going on a date, many people will ask, "What's his name?" or "Is he cute?" assuming it is a heterosexual date. Nevertheless, these people may not have anything against same-sex dating. In queer theory, the term heterocentrism is closely related to heteronormativity.
Yes I went there. I am calling certain people of my aquaintance "homophobic". Homophobia doesn't mean hanging out in a dark alley outside gay clubs and beating people within an inch of their life or of cross burning or whatever. Homophobia is "fear", "an aversion", or "discrimination". Ok so wanting not to go to Pride or associate oneself with anything "homosexual" is- I think- homophobia because last time I checked "aversion" meant avoidance of a thing because it makes one uncomfortable. A lot of my friends are college students and/or graduates. But again I am faced with the cold stark reality that not all are college students are created equal. What bothers me more is that this is something I've noticed about my friends and possibly people of color in general. There is a heterosexual norm going on here. No one really wants to talk about it, but in most minority groups it is assumed that if you are a man- you are heterosexual.
What I don't understand is why there is a line dividing at all. You would think that being oppressed by assumptions about race or ethnicity would make people a little more understanding to people who are oppressed in other ways. But noooooooooo. That is not the case.
What upsets me more is that I have not realized this about some people I know sooner. That I have been living a life of "heterosexual privilege". That I am afforded rights, privileges, confidences, friendships, and tolerance because I am heterosexual and not homosexual. I think that is what upsets me most- the disappointment of idealism. No, having a college education does not make you a more understanding person. Maybe it does, but only to that extent where it affects you personally. Like if you were a heterosexual person of color you wouldn't care about homosexual rights. Although I do not excuse people of no color either. I think the GLBTQ communities do tend to exclude people of color (this goes for "women's" issues too) and more could be done bridging these gaps.
I think they're all interconnected. The "isms", "ists", binaries. You expose one facet of the prejudiced and discriminatory nature of oppression when you expose another. In my world you can't close your eyes and pick and choose.
[1] From Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heterosexism and http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homophobia
5 comments:
Learned Behavior
Whenever the subject of homosexuality is brought to the forefront, it is always brought forth by the media, in defense of the sexual preference of the individual. Without considering that it is the “act,” and NOT the person who is under scrutiny.
“Please let me state this as clearly and concisely as I can, “It Is the Behavior of the Individual that is wrong, and not the character of the person which is condemned. All sexual behavior is a “Learned Behavior” and not a result of design of the individual.
The Rev
Whether or not sexual preference is "learned behavior" or not is not the point of contention. I would not at this time argue with you that sexuality can be composed of many factors such as biological, psychological, and environmental factors.
It is the very fact that this "act" which you speak of is used as a reason to discriminate, harass, or otherwise make someone feel like they are not a normal part of society.
Is not harassment or acting out privilege of one group over another also a "learned behavior"? If the "behavior of the individual" is as wrong as you say- then I would assume you would want one to "unlearn" those behaviors. I would contend that oppressive behavior- to judge and act based on one's own views and assumptions and force that judgement on someone else - can also be "unlearned".
brava, miss diana. i think this is the kind of thinking that means you are, at least, an ally. i especially liked this part: "I think they're all interconnected. The "isms", "ists", binaries. You expose one facet of the prejudiced and discriminatory nature of oppression when you expose another. In my world you can't close your eyes and pick and choose."
I think it is incorrect to label someone homophobic simply and solely because Pride celebrations make them uncomfortable. Not liking Pride does not equate to homophobia.
This year, I attended two Pride celebrations - one in Boston, one in New York City. I'm not straight, I'm out to almost everyone in my life (hmm, one more person now, I guess), and am very involved in queer issues both on-campus and in the Boston/Cambridge community.
Now that you know where I'm coming from: Some of the floats in both parades made ME uncomfortable - the one in NYC with the huge banner that says "Fuck Safe", the Ramrod (a club) float in Boston with the shirtless Adonis-like men hanging all over it, the men in codpieces and nothing but, the topless women/womyn/whatever in the Dyke Marches of both cities. In Boston, I was with a girl who self-identifies as femme lesbian, and the drag queens freaked her out.
I am not homophobic. Neither is she. (At the very least, it'd be pretty hypocritical of us ;).) Our discomfort, our aversion (We left a Boston club early, and I left the NYC Parade early) wasn't caused because the people we saw were queer. I happen to find the word 'Fuck' distasteful, particularly on Fifth Avenue at mid-day. I also happen to find public nudity/seminudity distasteful. She happens to have a problem with large drunken scary-looking people falling all over her, and had also never seen a drag queen before and had no idea what to expect. But I'd have felt the same discomfort had it been a group of straight people with a 'Fuck' banner, or straight people prancing about mostly/totally naked. And she'd have felt the same discomfort no matter what the orientation of the people invading her personal space.
That said, I think that people ought to be able to march down Fifth Avenue or through Greenwich Village or along Commonwealth Avenue in whatever state of dress they want and carrying whatever signs they want. I certainly wouldn't want someone telling me what I could or couldn't wear or carry or say. Free speech, and all that jazz. But if I choose not to watch, that might make me a square/prude, but it certainly doesn't make me homophobic.
And good call on distinguishing between heterocentrism and homophobia. Too few people are aware of the difference.
Bravo Diana!
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